


Heart of Darkness

by CricketsInTune



Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Cuddling, Happy Ending, M/M, Nemeton, Panic Attacks, Possessed Stiles, Pre Season 3B, Slow Build, Werewolf Healing, derek's in denial, ignore 3b, slight Supernatural reference
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-03-31
Updated: 2014-03-31
Packaged: 2018-01-17 17:16:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 14,630
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1396069
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CricketsInTune/pseuds/CricketsInTune
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Derek is gone from Beacon Hills and Stiles feels he needs to find him. But everything isn't normal with Stiles after linking himself to the nemeton and for some reason he knows that Derek is the only one who can help him. What will happen when boy and werewolf realize that this is bigger than both of them? And what will they do when feelings get involved? Written before Season 3b.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Heart of Darkness

**Author's Note:**

> This story was written before Season 3b even started, so you can disregard it entirely. I wrote it waiting for the next season to air, and I got a little bit right. I tried to make a slow-build that seemed accurate to how Stiles and Derek would really be. Enjoy!

He’d been gone for long enough to cause the feeling of absence. Even though he’d always been there, on the periphery of everything, it was still so obvious that his presence wasn’t there anymore. Like the feeling of missing something that you never realized was gone. He was never seen leaving. Only one day, when his home was finally searched, it seemed so vacant that there was no doubt he had left. 

And it was this same time Stiles realized he missed him. 

He missed the grumpy looks, the biting remarks...hell, he even missed the death threats. It wasn’t the fact that he missed Derek Hale that worried him so much. It was the fact that no one else seemed to care. Scott was busy dealing with the aftermath of giving power to the nemeton, Allison was spending more time with Isaac, and Lydia was finally living her life within finding dead bodies everywhere. Stiles felt adrift from all of them. He wasn’t a werewolf so he couldn’t help defend the town and he didn’t have someone to lean on after everything that happened. That, and now his dad knew everything. Which put him in danger. 

Finding Derek was the one thing that seemed to be keeping him together while everyone else went on as if nothing had happened. As if Jennifer and Ducalian had never even set foot in Beacon Hills. But they had. And Stiles knew it was only the beginning. Scott may be a true alpha, but how long would any of them last without the help of the Hales? They would need an army and if Scott wouldn’t gather them, Stiles would. He had to do something. Something to combat that little piece of darkness that now lived in his soul. 

\----------

It started firsts with texts. Things like: Things are quiet here, hope you’re not being too much of a sour wolf. But he never answered. Even when he would mention that there may be something happening in town...there was nothing. It was around that time he started getting worried. What if something had happened to the Hales? With Derek no longer an alpha, and Peter being the general asshole he was, there was a definite chance they met trouble. And then there was the chance that Derek was only ignoring him. That could be a thing. 

\---------

“If Derek’s in trouble he can take care of himself. Why are you so concerned about him anyway? Aren’t you like terrified of the guy?” Scott asked when Stiles brought up his concerns. Naturally, Scott wasn’t feeling any sort of wolfy danger and was ready to dismiss the whole thing.

“Well, yeah, he does have that ‘fear-inspiring’ quality about him...but c’mon Scott. You don’t find it just a little bit weird that he just picked up and ran off from a town where he lived his entire life? Especially now that we’ve become like monster ground zero?”

“He doesn’t have to stay here. You need to stop worrying about Derek...and maybe start worrying about yourself a little bit dude. You’ve been kinda off lately.” Scott looked at him with concern but Stiles just shrugged it off. 

“I’m always off, don’t tell me you just noticed.”

“I mean it, Stiles. If you need to talk, you know I’m here.”

“I’m fine, Scott. You just focus on that root cellar playing telephone to anything weird. I’ll be okay.” 

\--------

But he wasn’t okay. The further Derek Hale got the further Stiles felt himself pulling away from everyone else in search of him. Something was coming. He felt it in his very bones and there was no way to stop it. But he could gather people to help fight. Though the deeper he got in his search, the more he wondered his true motives. Derek had every right to go live his life somewhere else, so why was Stiles so bent on getting him back? It was like those brief flashes of vulnerability that Derek had shown him had affected Stiles somewhere deep. So much so he wanted to hold onto that. He wasn’t quite ready to let him go.

\--------

It took him nearly three months before he got a lead. He’d been searching online for any trace of the Hales and it was a picture he’d happened upon on Facebook that did it. Even in the background, Stiles would know that stoic face anywhere. And better yet, it was only posted a day ago. With that Stiles packed his backpack, jumped in his Jeep, and headed out to find Derek Hale. 

\-------

By the time he reached Sacramento, it was nighttime and Stiles had no lead as to where he could find Derek. It seemed almost insane that he had driven out here to find someone who probably didn’t want to be found. Real smooth, Stilinski. He sat in the parking lot of the Starbucks where he had spotted Derek in the picture and felt like a complete idiot. Why come out here anyway? Would he just find Derek, tell him he should come back, and hope he does? He typed out a quick ‘Where are you?’ on his phone but didn’t have the guts to send it. It was then he heard a loud growl come from the alley besides the shop and it was a sound Stiles was very familiar with. 

Derek. 

He clumsily got out of his Jeep and followed the sound, just in time to see as Derek, fully wolfed out, attacked another person who screeched unnaturally every time Derek’s claws ripped into their flesh. Stiles walked forward and his foot kicked a broken bottle that spun and clanked against a dumpster. Both Derek and the person turned and it was then Stiles realized that wasn’t a person. It’s eyes glowed red and it screeched angrily as leathery wings burst from it’s back and it took flight. 

Stiles watched it dumbfounded for a moment before he realized that Derek was staring at him. He gazed back at him and took a slight step forward, ‘Der…” He began to say but the werewolf was in front of him in an instant, pinning him hard against a brick wall with his forearm pressing into his throat. 

“What the hell are you doing here?” Derek hissed and it was in that moment Stiles realized that he was injured, covered in deep, angry scratches that were bleeding heavily. Yet his hold didn’t lessen. And Stiles had no idea how to answer him. 

“You’re hurt.” 

“You didn’t answer my question.”

“I...I dunno…” The low growl in Derek’s throat made Stiles feel more nervous and he knew his heart was beating faster. No doubt the werewolf could sense that. “You didn’t answer any of my texts. I thought you might’ve been in trouble.” 

“You shouldn’t have come.” Derek said as he loosened his hold and leaned on the wall for a moment for support before forcing himself to stand upright. 

“Well it’s a bit too late for that, isn’t it?” Stiles stared at Derek’s injuries which didn’t seem to be healing too quickly, and he knew something needed to be done. “Is there somewhere we can go to clean you up?”

“There’s no we. You’re going back to Beacon Hills. I can take care of myself.” Derek began to slowly limp towards the front of the alleyway and Stiles followed. 

“And you’re doing a bang-up job, pal. What was that thing anyway? Some kind of dragon?” At Stiles’ words, Derek stopped to turn and look at him with his typical face of disbelief. 

“You did not just say dragon.”

“It had wings…” 

“Clearly you haven’t gotten any less idiotic since I left.” Derek began walking again but Stiles jumped in front of him. 

“Now hold on there speedy gonzales, if you think I came all this way to watch you hobble off into the night, you’d better think again. Because I’m not.” Derek let out a furious growl meant to scare him, but Stiles stood his ground, “You’ll have to try a little harder than that.” The action had made Derek double slightly in pain and he looked back up at Stiles somewhat weakly. 

“Fine.” He said through gritted teeth as they made it back to Stiles’ Jeep. “Take me to my motel.” And with that both boy and werewolf hopped in the Jeep and headed to where Derek had been living for the last few weeks. 

\----------

“So...where are Peter and Cora?” Stiles asked as they entered Derek’s motel room which looked about as lived in as an empty room. There was something very lonely about the place and he felt that maybe Derek had been in a weird place too after everything that happened. 

“They’re gone. We decided it was safer if we split up.” Derek gingerly sat down on his bed and looked down at his chest where his shirt was cut to ribbons. 

“Safer? Like from that dragon-thing out there?”

“Safer as in make us smaller targets to go after. You may’ve noticed that there hasn’t been much going on in Beacon Hills even though you woke up the nemeton.” 

“Scott’s been keeping a watch on things...but yeah, nothing’s really been going bump in the night,” Stiles met Derek’s gaze and he seemed to speak without words, “And you’re the reason for that, aren’t you?”

“We’ve been holding back some of what’s out there. If we weren’t then you all would be in constant danger,” He seemed to not like slipping up and revealing he may care, so he covered it up quickly, “If something gets a hold of the nemeton’s power it could be fatal.”

“So you’ve been out here acting like a mosquito net by yourself.”

“Yeah.”

“Are you actually crazy? Do you have a deathwish?” When Derek didn’t seem to want to debate this, Stiles let out a sigh, “Take off your shirt, you’re bleeding everywhere.” Derek obeyed but the mere motion seemed to make him dizzy and he fell back, exhausted from loss of blood. “You need to stay awake Derek, I’m not driving you to the emergency room.”

“Go. Home. Stilinski.” He mumbled out as Stiles went and grabbed some towels, wetting them as he came back into the room and stared down at Derek’s torn flesh. He’d been injured bad before but this was still pretty nasty. When Stiles began to clean his wounds, Derek let out a low, pained growl. 

“Come on, big guy. This is nothing,” Stiles tried to sound nonchalant, but he knew that these wounds were bad enough. And he wasn’t exactly a surgeon fit to be dealing with this sort of injury, “Should I...uh...sew it up with something?” Derek’s hand reached out and firmly grasped Stiles, so hard it hurt. 

“I. Am. Fine.” He growled out as he shifted on the bed and laid down, closing his eyes as he seemed to be focused on healing. “I need to sleep.”

“And where exactly am I supposed to sleep?”

“You shouldn’t even be here. And if you’re still here when I wake up, I’ll kill you.” He said the words but the threat sounded empty. Besides, Stiles wasn’t going to leave. Now that he knew what Derek was up to, it was clear he needed help.

“Just get some rest, sleeping beauty,” At his words, another soft growl came from Derek but he was already so close to sleeping it didn’t sound very intimidating. Stiles let out a soft sigh as he looked around the room, his eyes landing on an armchair that he pulled over close to an end table to prop up his feet, “Well buddy, looks like it’s me and you tonight.” He said to the chair as he sat down and tried to fall into sleep. 

\----------

Derek woke in the middle of the night. He knew it was sometime early in the morning and when he glanced at his phone, the time proved that. 3:33 AM. He gingerly sat up and assessed the wounds on his chest. They were healing alright but not as fast as he hoped. The last fews weeks had been beyond exhausting and being the line of defense for Beacon Hills took a lot out of him. It was then he realized that he wasn’t alone. Stilinski had come to find him. 

Now that he didn’t expect. That kid always seemed terrified of him, yet lately their relationship had shifted somewhat into something of a mutual understanding. And he sort of respected the fact that this human could handle life surrounded by all this supernatural shit. Plus it also made him an idiot. Derek didn’t want anyone coming after him, but after reading the texts he never answered, it seemed like a matter of time. But he didn’t expect Stilinski. Scott, maybe, but not his little sidekick. And his texts made it seem he actually cared that Derek left. Now that he really didn’t expect. He figured he could slip out of town like a ghost and no one would pay any mind. But that clearly didn’t happen. Derek wasn’t a babysitter and he wouldn’t let Scott’s little shadow come in the way of his work. 

And it was about that time he realized that Stilinski wasn’t in the room with him. That, and Derek caught the distinct scent of blood...blood that wasn’t his. Without even thinking, the werewolf jumped to his feet and pushed open the door to the bathroom, the light off, but it wasn’t empty. Stiles sat on the floor, surrounded by bits of shattered mirror, covered in his own blood. He held onto a jagged piece of mirror as he carved deep into his forearm, muttering as he did. 

“Stilinski!” Derek shouted as he turned on the light to stare down somewhat horrified by what he was seeing. Even calling out to him didn’t make Stiles stop, he seemed entranced by what he was doing. The knuckles on his hand were torn up from where he had broken the mirror and the smell of his blood was thick in the air. 

“Stiles! Snap out of it!” Derek yelled again as he tried to wrench the piece of mirror out of his grasp but not even he could pull it free. And Stiles didn’t look up. Finally, Derek’s eyes glowed a brilliant blue and he let out a roar, fangs elongated as his clawed hand grabbed Stiles’ wrist, preventing him from continuing to cut as he forced Stiles to his feet, gripping his shoulders tightly. His eyes seemed distant, as if he wasn’t really there at all. “Stiles! Wake up!” 

“What….” Stiles muttered as he blinked a few times and stared into Derek’s face which went back to normal as Stiles looked at him in complete confusion, “How did I…” He started to say as he looked around the bathroom. “Oh God…” He said softly as Derek released him and he looked down at his forearm, his hands shaking. 

“Mind telling me why I find you mutilating yourself in my bathroom at 3AM?” Derek asked in a disgruntled tone, trying to hide the fact that this whole thing seriously worried him. Stiles still seemed in a daze as he stared down at his arm. 

“I…” Stiles began to say as he looked back at Derek who seemed to figure it out without the boy saying anything else. 

“This has happened to you before,” When Derek said this, Stiles propped his foot up on the toilet and pulled up the leg of his jeans, revealing an angry, red scar shaped just like the symbol on his forearm, “When did this start?”

“After everything with the nemeton. I just woke up one morning on the floor in my room holding a steak knife.” 

“And you didn’t tell anyone?”

“What was I supposed to say? ‘Hello, my name is Stiles and I like to carve pictures into myself for fun.’ Yeah, that sounds real normal.” With a glare, Derek grabbed a towel and pressed it into Stiles’ arm, holding it upright. 

“Keep it like this,” Derek said as he went and grabbed one of his shirts, ripping it with his teeth, “This isn’t good.” Derek turned on the facet to the sink, grabbed Stiles’ arm, and forced it under the warm spray. Stiles let out a yelp and tried to glare at Derek but it was hardly effective. As Derek dried off the wound and examined it, he was about to wrap it up when he looked at it with his brows furrowed. He brought Stiles’ wound close to his nose and inhaled deeply. 

“Uh...Ever hear of personal space?”

“Shut up,” And Stiles did just that as Derek inhaled a few more times before looking back at Stiles somewhat confused, “Your blood smells different.”

“My blood? I didn’t know you were so acquainted with it’s smell. And why is that anyway? Some sort of wolfy power?” 

“I’ve spent enough time around you to know your scent. And it’s different.”

“Like bad different? Or I use a different soap different? Because I…”

“Bad different. A person’s blood doesn’t change like that.” Derek looked away from Stiles as he quickly wrapped up his forearm and tied it. 

“What does that mean? Am I going to grow a tail or something? Talk to me, Derek.”

“I don’t know what it means. It’s like a part of you isn’t the same. Maybe that’s why I didn’t recognize you right away in the alley. You didn’t smell like you,” As if sensing any slightness of vulnerability, Derek seemed to straighten up some and look at Stiles with his usual gruff face, “I’m taking you back to Beacon Hills. They can deal with you there.”

“So you plan on just dropping me off and taking off again?”

“Why the hell are you so pissed about me leaving?”

“I don’t know!” Stiles shouted because he really had no clue what it was exactly but it was as if something was telling him he couldn’t let Derek go, not yet, “I can’t explain it I just needed to find you and I’m not going to let you walk off into the sunset again. I can’t.”

“Don’t tell me you have feelings for me…” Derek looked at him with slight terror as if the possibility completely horrified him. 

“You’ve gotta be kidding me. Yeah I really have a thing for a guy who threatens my life on a daily basis.”

“Whatever. All I know is, there’s something going on with you and we need to figure out what.” At the mention of ‘we,’ Stiles looked somewhat confused. He really expected Derek to have dragged him back to Beacon Hills kicking and screaming if need be. 

“We?”

“Yes we. I’m not going to wake up to you hacking away at yourself and until I get you back to Beacon Hills, you’re my responsibility,” Derek turned from Stiles and headed back into the bedroom where he grabbed Stiles bag to rifle through it, “You had better brought your laptop. Because you’re going to research. Now.”

“But it’s 3AM…”

“And you only zone out when you sleep. So you’d better get used to staying awake.” Derek tossed Stiles’ computer on the bed and went back into the bathroom to clean things up. He was no researcher and he wanted to get away from his new roommate for a while. There was something very wrong here and he could only guess what the nemeton had to do with it. And why Stiles seemed so bent on staying around him. 

\-----------

Stiles woke up screaming. Screaming so loud his throat went raw and his lungs ached. He had been consumed by darkness and waking up had thrust him back into reality so suddenly he felt like he was being ripped in two. He found himself gasping for breath as if his body didn’t want to take it in, his chest tightening. He knew he was having a panic attack but there was nothing he could do to stop it, still screaming and gasping as if he was drowning in air. And then a hand clasped hard against his mouth. Forcing his nose to remember how to inhale as he squirmed against the bed. Another strong arm pulled him up and held him tightly, anchoring him to something as Stiles rode the wave of his own monster. 

“Breathe,” The strong voice said and he felt the push of someone breathing deeply against his back, their chest rising and falling while the strong arm forced Stiles to move with it. Inhale. Exhale, “Do it.” The voice commanded as Stiles did his best to sync their breathing, letting minutes pass as he inhaled and exhaled to the rhythm of the body behind him, the hand on his mouth finally loosening. Stiles felt the sensation of sheer panic lessen and the feel of drowning fade as he opened his eyes and breathed deeply. It was this exact moment that Derek sprang up away from him, the presence of his body gone. Stiles felt instantly less comforted, like the feel of Derek’s body against his, his arm holding him too tightly, it had been good. It had brought him back. And he realized he hadn’t wanted Derek to move. 

Bad Stiles, very bad. 

“That happen to you a lot?”

“I...uh, yeah. Last time I had a panic attack was when Jennifer took my dad. But I haven’t had one that bad in a long time.”

“You fell asleep. You started moving around so I woke you up. Maybe I shouldn’t of but I didn’t need you bleeding everywhere again.” 

“Yeah I prefer not being a human jack-o-lantern,” Stiles ran a hand through his hair somewhat awkwardly before speaking again, “Thanks for getting me through it…”

“Sure,” Derek said without looking at him as he turned Stiles’ computer to him so he could see what Derek had found, “I know what the symbol is.” Stiles looked from his arm and back to the screen and knew Derek was right. This was what he had been carving.

“A pagan binding rune...used to attach a soul to an object, animate or inanimate. Depending on the strength of the soul, it can completely overtake its host as long as the rune is continuously renewed. Blood is the strongest medium...the rune may be destroyed but the connection will remain until the source of power breaks the bond,” Stiles read from the page and then looked over at Derek, “Someone’s using me as their little voodoo puppet?”

“Something like that.” 

“But if I’ve been drawing the runes on myself then that means that I’m already bound to someone. Someone’s soul is inside of me,” Stiles whispered the last part as if it made a difference and realized that he was on the verge of freaking out again, “Derek...I have someone’s soul inside of me!”

“I could cut off the runes…”

“Didn’t you hear what it said? Even if I do that, it won’t break this connection. Jesus Christ...I’m Linda Blair.” 

“If you start throwing up pea soup, you’re on your own.” 

“You don’t seem very concerned that I have someone holed up inside of me somewhere.” Stiles looked at him as if waiting for some kind of reaction, but Derek only shrugged.   
“It’s not me it’s holed up in.” 

“What am I supposed to do? Not sleep for the rest of my life? I don’t even know who’s doing this to me or what source of…” Stiles stopped as if it all dawned on him suddenly and Derek looked at him expectantly. 

“Source of what?”

“Source of power….it said something about a source of power. It has to be the nemeton then. Something to do with how me, Scott, and Allison gave it power again.” 

“They don’t seem to be carving runes into their skin in the middle of the night.” 

“But why me?” A silence fell between them when Stiles asked it and Derek seemed hesitant to answer the question. 

“You’re the easiest target,” He said it but it still didn’t hurt less. It was true though. Scott was an alpha werewolf, Allison was a hunter...and what was Stiles? He was a human who was dragged into this whole mess. He wasn’t a fighter, wasn’t strong, wasn’t a warrior. And whatever had latched itself to him knew that. His silence made Derek realize how much the comment hit home and he attempted to lighten the blow, “You can be useful sometimes.”

“Just…don’t, okay?” Stiles sat back down on the bed and put his head in his hands, “What am I supposed to do?” They were both silent for a few moments before Stiles spoke again, a saddened, almost pained look on his face. “I knew something was wrong. After I found my dad and you guys took out Jennifer I thought I would feel better. But I didn’t. I felt something different in me I just didn’t know what it was. Now I do. It’s darkness and it’s inside of me.” 

“We just need to destroy the nemeton, break it’s hold on you.” 

“There’s that we again. You’re really killing your whole ‘lone wolf’ thing.” 

“I’m involved in this now. And something tells me you’re going to need my help,” Derek stood up and grabbed the keys to Stiles’ Jeep, “Let’s go. We need to get back to Beacon Hills.” 

“There’s no way you’re driving my Jeep. Plus it’ll keep me awake,” With a glare Derek handed the keys over and as Stiles took one more look around the room he said, “Aren’t you worried about the mess in here?”

“Peter paid for the room.” 

“We should’ve broke more stuff.”

\-----------

“Wake up, Derek.” He heard Stiles calling to him and he seemed so far away. Yet the movement of the Jeep was still there and he remembered now where they were headed. But he didn’t remember falling asleep. He hadn’t wanted to, knowing that he needed to keep an eye on Stilinski who seemed to be slowly going off the deep end. But looking at him now, he seemed fairly calm, even driving the speed limit. 

“Are we almost there?”

“Almost. You slept most of the way,” Derek was surprised there was no retort from the boy beside him as per usual, “I missed that you know, watching you sleep.” 

“What are you talking about?” Derek sat up more suddenly as he looked closer at Stiles who he realized had that same distant quality to his eyes that he had seen before. And then he saw the rune scratched into the top of his hand, the safety pin that had done the job tucked into the front of the center console, “No...you’re not Stiles. Get out of him. Right. Now.” Derek growled the words and a smirk crossed Stiles’ face. 

“Do you really want me to leave him now when he’s driving? Might cause quite the mess. Besides...I’m not going to hurt him, not yet. I needed him to get to you but he may still be useful after all.” 

“Who are you?”

“You really haven’t figured it out yet, Derek? Who else would claw their way over from the other side just to get to you? Who else would go after poor, innocent Stiles? I know he cares about you...I just needed to feed into that.” Derek looked at Stiles while he spoke and it seemed to dawn on him who this must be, how everything fell into place just as it did. 

“Jennifer…”

“That’s right. I just didn’t feel like staying dead. And with the power of the nemeton reawakened, I don’t have to.”

“What does that have to do with me?” 

“It has everything to do with you. You were what kept me alive when Kali almost killed me. And now you’re going to be there when I come back again. See it’s almost fate that Stiles here is a virgin...I get to spill some of his blood, offer it up, and be myself again.” Derek kept his face emotionless as she spoke but the idea made his very blood run cold. This was definitely worse than he thought.

“There’s not a chance in hell I’m going to help you do any of this.” 

“Oh but there is. See, there’s plenty of other vessels for me to jump into, Stiles just happened to be the closest and most convenient. He put a piece of himself into the nemeton so it wasn’t hard latching onto him. But I’m stronger now. And I can easily get someone else’s blood. But if you don’t cooperate, I don’t think I’ll let Stiles here get off so easy. You don’t want his blood on your hands, do you, Derek?”

“Kill him, go ahead. Do you really think I care?”

“Actually I do. You do care for him. And he cares for you. How do you think I got him to come here? I fed into that emotion. And believe me, it’s strong. Scared of you as he may sometimes be, he was even more scared you may be in danger. It was sweet really.” 

“I don’t care about him!” Derek growled, making him realize that it was somewhat of a lie. He didn’t hate Stiles, no if anything he knew how useful he could be. And he may just be a human, but he was sort of a friend too, no matter how twisted it seemed. Derek felt a desire to protect him and that alone meant something. 

“So if I kill Stiles right now, it wouldn’t bother you?”

“No.”

“Let’s test that little theory.” Right after she said it, one of Stiles’ hands left the wheel and clutched his chest. Derek could hear his heartbeat increasing rapidly, dangerously so. He began to gasp for breath but the car drove evenly as if Jennifer controlled his movements and was attacking him from the inside. Derek tried to appear nonchalant as he watched Stiles struggle for air and hear his heart ready to burst from his chest. But he couldn’t take it. He couldn’t let Stiles die, not after everything. Because he did care about him. 

“Stop! Get out of him you bitch!” Derek thought back to the bathroom when he clawed Stiles out of his trance. He reached over then, claws out, and dug them into Stiles’ shoulder, not liking he had to cause him more pain, but he needed to get him back. Seconds later Stiles gasped for air as he seemed to regain composure, slightly losing control of the Jeep before he realized what was happening, “Pull over!” Derek yelled and Stiles barely obeyed, doing so quickly before leaning back against his seat and closing his eyes, his breathing coming in gasp. “Are you having another panic attack?” 

“I….don’t…..know….” He gasped, feeling like he was falling apart into a million pieces again, being wretched from wherever he was laying dormant. Derek took his claws from his shoulder and brought his arm around Stiles, seeing that he seemed to be going to pieces. And he held tightly. Stiles curled into him slightly, but barely at all because he wasn’t sure if this was okay. He had no idea what was happening. 

“Just try and get your breathing even again. And I’m driving,” Stiles nodded in agreement at Derek’s words before taking a minute to calm himself down. He didn’t really consider himself that weak of a person, hell he’d seen enough bad stuff for a few lifetimes, but something about all this sucked his resistance right out and left him undone, “You dozed off, didn’t you.” 

“Yeah...you were asleep.” 

“I know. You woke me up.”

“I did?”

“Well...not you. Jennifer.” Stiles looked up at Derek who now pulled his arm back the instant he decided Stiles didn’t need it. And once again he felt the feeling of loss. More inappropriate Derek-based feelings. Still bad. Very bad. 

“Jennifer? Like has no lips, dresses up in a teacher suit, Jennifer?” As Derek gave Stiles a look, he then told him exactly what happened and Stiles seemed to sit there in silence and take it all in, “You can’t let me go to sleep then.”

“No, you’re the one who can’t fall asleep.”

“Causing me pain seems to be the only way to snap me out of it, so you need to hurt me to keep me awake.”

“Stiles, that’s pretty fucked up even for me.” Derek said as he looked over at Stiles who seemed dead set on the idea. 

“I don’t love it either but we don’t need Jennifer putting me on autopilot while she does whatever she wants with my body,” Stiles met Derek’s eyes firmly, wanting him to know just how serious he was, “I don’t want to lose myself. I know you don’t even like me...but I think you at least owe me this.” 

“Let me drive,” Was all Derek said and they got out and switched seats, Stiles didn’t even bother arguing now. He rested his arm on the center console and looked at Derek, “I’m not going to dig my nails into you right now.”

“Come on I don’t trust myself. Just do it, I can take it.” Stiles expected Derek to claw into him when he saw his nails lengthen, but that wasn’t the case. He carefully rested his hand on Stiles’ arm, digging his nails ever so slightly into his skin. 

“There….happy?”

“Ecstatic. Now let’s go. We need to go take down that glorified stump.” 

\-----------

As they reached Beacon Hills, Derek’s hand still rested on Stiles, but his nails barely grazed his skin. He didn’t want to admit that he felt better touching Stiles, that he felt somewhat in control over what was happening and he liked that. Because this kid didn’t deserve what was happening to him and Derek felt somewhat responsible. 

“I don’t think I should go home...It would be a little hard to explain this to my dad. He’s already pretty freaked now that he’s knows things actually do go bump in the night.”

“You didn’t tell anyone you were coming after me,” Derek said it as a statement if anything and Stiles just sort of shrugged, “Fine. We’ll go to my old place and you can research more about the nemeton.”

“And not fall asleep.”

“You can’t be that tired…”

“I think she’s working some magic to make me sleepy. I feel like I’m going to keel over.” When Stiles said this, Derek dug his hands in a little and he jumped slightly at the feeling of it. And Derek had the smallest of smirks on his lips. 

\---------

They spent a good chunk of the day researching, with Derek pumping enough coffee into Stiles to keep him up for days but it still didn’t seem to matter. Jennifer seemed determined to get him to sleep. This only led to Derek remaining close to him at all times, a more affectionate thing then he was ever prepared for. Stiles would mutter about going to sleep and Derek would grab him, though he hated the pain he was causing. But Stiles took it, barely complaining because he knew it needed to happen and he seemed to get that it made Derek feel bad. They dug up enough on the nemeton to know it couldn’t be destroyed, but it could have it’s power taken away, and that was just what they planned to do. 

“I can’t do it...I’m halfway to dreamland and we need to figure out what to do with me. I’m not really loving the idea of giving my body up to my psycho English teacher again.” 

“I’m tired too.” Derek said softly as he shut Stiles computer and looked down at the pile of papers they had printed at a complete loss. 

“Then you need to tie me up. Unless you think you can’t make a knot I can’t slip out of. I’m not Houdini so it shouldn’t be rocket science. You’ve gotta have some rope lying around here somewhere.”

“I think I can manage to keep you restrained.”

“Let’s do this thing then,” Minutes later Stiles had entered Derek’s bedroom behind Derek who held lengths of thin rope in his hands. He didn’t say anything before he grabbed Stiles’ arms from behind and somewhat roughly brought them behind his back, “Easy! I’m delicate.” Derek merely rolled his eyes as he tightly secured the rope around Stiles’ wrists.

“Feet,” Derek muttered and Stiles awkwardly sat down as Derek tightly tied up his feet as well. They both looked at each other for a few moments before Derek spoke again, “Well...go to sleep. 

“I’m going to become her again, aren’t I?” 

“I don’t know. Maybe she needs to have the symbol drawn, maybe not.”

“But I’m still gonna trance out once I fall asleep,” Stiles seemed to perk up slightly as a thought hit him, “Maybe you need to be hurting me while I fall asleep and I won’t switch over to her?”

“You really do have a thing for me…” Derek muttered out and Stiles looked at him with a look of impatience.

“Get over yourself, Hale. Not everyone is in love with you.” The werewolf seemed to struggle for a few moments before he seemed to make a decision.

“You tell no one about this, understand? Because I will kill you.” Derek eased himself onto the bed beside Stiles, completely baffled by the fact he was actually doing this. He was actually going to hold this kid. Emphasis on kid. Practically jail bait. And what worried him ever more was that he was more worried about that than the fact he was about to hold a guy while he slept. But it was Stiles. 

“I won’t say a word.” Stiles seemed to go quiet when Derek moved close to him and he wasn’t quite sure what the werewolf was planning on doing. He wasn’t really in a comfortable position for anything. Derek lay in front of him, bringing his arm up around his shoulder to dig his nails above Stiles’ collarbone. He let out a groan and closed his eyes, not wanting to look into Derek’s for fear it was too intimate. Because there were those bad feelings again. And Derek was very, very close. 

“If you even think about getting a boner, I’ll cut it off.”

“I won’t get a boner.”

“I can smell how you feel right now,” It was as if the words froze Stiles completely. He really needed to thank his hormones for this one. Because Derek could smell how he was a little more into this then he should be, but still the werewolf didn’t pull back. At least that was something, “You’ve felt it before.”

“I don’t feel anything. Just drop it and let me sleep.” Stiles mumbled, trying to sound closer to sleep then he actually was. Because of course his mind starting thinking more of Derek and how close he was which made the whole thing more uncomfortable. 

“Fine.” He replied, dismissive yet it was almost disappointed. Stiles wasn’t sure how to take that and Derek wasn’t sure how to either. Because he was beginning to fear that there was a little something there, something he couldn’t place, and it terrified him.

\----------

Stiles woke up warm. Warm, minus his feet and hands which were the only parts of him uncomfortable. He was very aware of the close presence in front of him, of the strong arms wrapped tightly around him, the feel of claws gently pressed into his back. For the first time in a few days he felt level, safe even, and he found himself nuzzling his head closer to the neck that the arms belonged to. And it seemed that they held him tighter. 

That was, of course, until Derek woke up. He seemed to freeze momentarily and he pulled back from Stiles after a moment of realization, getting up to untie his hands and feet in complete silence. 

“Derek…”

“Shut up.”

“It isn’t a big deal.” Derek glared at him as he wandered into his kitchen and started brewing coffee. He was trying to deny how nice it was just to wake up holding someone. To feel less alone than he had in months. Had he expected it to be Stiles? No. But he had spent a good 20 minutes watching him sleep before he actually woke up, inhaling his scent, learning the pattern of his breaths. It was a territory he didn’t know and worse was that Stiles wasn’t exactly feeling weird about it. Because he did. 

“Just drop it.” Derek muttered as he poured some coffee, needing that jolt to set him right again. Stiles looked somewhat defeated before he spoke. 

“Did I change at all?”

“No. No you just slept. Must have been the claws.”

“I think...I think it was because of you. She wouldn’t touch you. And you were...nearer than usual last night.” Stiles chose his words carefully and Derek just stared at him, his face still with it’s usual hardened expression. 

“Whatever. You didn’t get controlled, that’s what matters.”

“What happens next time?”

“There won’t be a next time. The sooner we get her out of you, the sooner I get you out of here.” At these words, Stiles made a face at Derek, feeling even worse about the whole situation. 

“Don’t sound so sad to see me go.” 

“I never wanted you here in the first place, you dragged me into your mess.”

“Well don’t worry. I’ll get out of your fur. No more babysitting Scott’s little sidekick.” Stiles went over and grabbed his backpack, heading for the door because he couldn’t handle this, not now, not when he needed Derek to hang onto. 

“Where are you going?” 

“Don’t ask like you actually care. I’m leaving. Better break out the balloons and cake.” Derek grabbed his shoulder and forced Stiles to turn around. 

“If you leave, she’ll take over. You need me.” The three words hung between them and after a moment, Stiles broke free of his hold, a bravery exuding from him. That slight darkness coming out in his very scent and it burned Derek’s nose. 

“I don’t.” His words were simple, and he added no more to it. Instead he turned and walked out of Derek’s apartment, leaving the werewolf standing there wondering if he had made a huge mistake. And Stiles went to destroy the nemeton. 

\-----------

It was barely two hours before Derek went after him. He didn’t need to find him and talk to him, he was much more content with lurking in the shadows and keeping an eye on him. He was much more the lurking type. Plus, Stiles was basic a walking case of narcolepsy now and God knows when he would zone out again. He followed his scent to exactly where he hoped it wouldn’t lead. The nemeton. 

Stiles was standing over the stump, shirt off and covered in his own blood. He held a pocketknife in his hand and Derek feared what he would see when he saw the front of him. Gashes ran up his already torn up arms in his attempt to keep himself awake. Clearly Jennifer had jumped at her chance to get him alone. And she had won. 

“Stiles!” Derek roared out as he ran towards where Stiles stood, him muttering some sort of chant. When Derek grabbed him, he could barely make him budge. 

“GET AWAY FROM ME!” Stiles yelled out as his blood flowed out of his chest, the symbol carved in it very different from the one he had made before. And looking into his eyes, Derek knew that it was Stiles here doing this, not Jennifer. The wind picked up around them and the very ground seemed to hum as the earth drank deep the crimson blood. 

“What is this…” Derek managed to say as he tried to figure out what exactly was happening. But he knew one thing. Stiles was losing far too much blood. 

“Just...a little more…” Stiles muttered and it seemed all at once the wind stopped, the ground ceased to hum, and the atmosphere around them calmed. And it was this same time that Stiles felt his legs give out and Derek was there to catch him as he held him up. 

“What did you just do you yourself?” Derek demanded as his worried blue eyes met Stiles’.

“Deaton told me about the rune...one to rip Jennifer out of me. The nemeton just needed my blood,” Stiles said weakly but then he offered Derek a sleepy sort of grin, “Who knew I had wizard abilities. Wanna see if I can pull a rabbit out of a hat?”

“You are such a fucking idiot!” Derek nearly growled, grabbing both sides of the boy’s face. And then he did something Stiles didn’t expect. One minute he was insulting him, which felt very normal, and the next Stiles felt the rough press of his lips. Just like that, he was kissing Derek Hale. His scruff ground into his chin and his teeth dug into his lip. It was a dark sort of kiss, the kind he expected of Derek but never knew he would get. The kind that hurt in all the right ways. And Stiles clung to him for dear life because now he felt even weaker. Because those bad feelings were everywhere and he was drowning in them. A low growl sounded in Derek’s throat and he pulled back about as suddenly as he kissed Stiles, barely touching him now except to hold him up. Like he didn’t want to touch him at all. 

Stiles didn’t say anything as they went back to Derek’s apartment. He felt a sudden emptiness. Maybe it was the loss of Jennifer’s presence within him, but he knew it was more than that. It was Derek. Derek who was battling himself inside as to why he had kissed Stiles. As to why he wanted to again and couldn’t place his feelings for him. He had been so relieved that he was okay that he just acted on instinct. And now it felt incredibly uncomfortable. They walked back into his apartment in silence. Derek only breaking it as he helped Stiles into his room. 

“Try and get some sleep.” He could smell the sadness on Stiles and it pained him to know why it may be there. Because he had kissed him back after all. And he remained quiet as he lay down, not even bothering to care about his wounds as he closed his eyes. 

\-----------

“Stay still.” Stiles woke up to Derek’s voice as a searing pain spread across his chest. His eyes opened as one of Derek’s hands held him down and the other cleaned out his massive chest carving. He realized he would be carrying these scars for the rest of his life. He watched for a moment as Derek continued to doctor his wound. 

“How much of before did I dream?”

“You weren’t asleep for long. I needed to clean this up to stop any infection.” After a few more minutes of silence, Stiles finally got the courage to speak. 

“Did you or did you not kiss me?”

“I’m not answering that.” Derek wouldn’t meet his eyes and Stiles forced himself to sit up, determined to be on a level field. 

“It’s okay, you know, if you did,” Stiles let out a sigh as their eyes met and he knew that he may actually have the upper hand in this situation, “And it’s okay if you like me.”

“I don’t like you.” 

“Stop being such a damn sour wolf.” With that, Stiles moved up to press his lips to Derek’s, but it was hardly as rough as the kiss before. It was very gentle and extremely unsure. He was worried that maybe Derek wouldn’t respond and he was about to pull back when he felt Derek’s lips moved against his. Stiles reached up to touch the back of his neck and Derek leaned in closer, one of his arms coming around Stiles. After a moment he pulled back again like before, moving off the bed as he looked down at Stiles sitting there in something of a daze. The smell of him alone was something the werewolf found much more enticing than he ever did.

“I’m not your boyfriend.”

“At what point did I ever use that word to describe you?” Stiles inquired as he tilted his head slightly to try and read Derek, but it was an impossible feat. “You are a boy. And I guess you’re sort of my friend sometimes though our relationship has reached a whole new level of confusing…” 

“You need to sleep more. If you don’t I’m bringing you to the hospital and I really don’t feel like explaining those cuts.” Derek turned from him then and Stiles let out a sigh. 

“So we’re just going to avoid this entire thing, huh? Pretend that you didn’t just…” Stiles trailed off when Derek glared at him and he held up his hands, “Fine, I’ll go to sleep. But there had better be orange juice and cookies for me when I wake up.” 

\----------

Stiles didn’t wake up to juice and cookies. Instead he woke up to Derek next to him, staring at him with blue eyes that seemed to be filled with all the things he tried to hide. Stiles opened his mouth to speak but Derek shook his head slightly as if to tell him it wasn’t time yet. And so they lay there for a few silent moments simply looking at each other. It was then Derek finally spoke.

“I care about you.” 

“See, that wasn’t so hard.”

“Can you stop the wise-ass remarks for five seconds? You think this is easy for me to say?” Stiles went silent and Derek closed his eyes, organizing his thoughts, thinking about what he would say, “You’re not the easiest target.”

“What?”

“When I said that Jennifer chose you because you were the easiest target, I didn’t mean it. She chose you because she sensed that you meant something to me. And she could sense the same in you. There’s not many people who could deal with the shit you’ve seen and come out of it on the other side. That takes a lot, Stiles.” 

“Yeah...a lot of dumb luck.”

“You’re a survivor. I used to think we didn’t have anything in common. But we have that.”

“And we both seem to have these feelings for each other. So there’s two things. Man, we’re practically twins.” Stiles smiled slightly and Derek didn’t return it, but there was humor in his eyes. 

“You were terrified of me. I could sense it.”

“I manned up a bit, so sue me. You used to hate me.”

“I didn’t hate you. Just found you incredibly annoying. And stubborn. Which I still do.”

“But you like me.” A grin spread across Stiles’ lips and Derek merely grimaced.

“Are you going to say that all the time?”

“Maybe until you admit it. Face it, you’ve been wanting a piece of the Stiles pie for a very long time. You just finally got the guts to take a slice...This is starting to sound weird, isn’t it?”

“Shut up.” Derek said again, as he always did, but this time it was softer and he moved closer to Stiles, pressing his lips against his, hearing him sigh contently as they kissed. Derek didn’t linger at the boy’s lips for long before pulling back slightly to then nuzzle his face into Stiles’ neck, inhaling the scent that came from his skin. 

“Do I still smell like darkness?” Stiles whispered, a small fear in his voice that Derek detected, a private thing. Derek moved him onto his back, keeping his face against Stiles’ throat as his muscular form covered the lankier body beneath him. 

“You smell like your Jeep. Like the soap you use. Like sweat. Sometimes sadness or anxiety...but not now. Now it’s muskier...and you’re not afraid,” Derek’s nose trailed the column of Stiles’ throat and he closed his eyes, “But there’s still something there though not as strong.” 

“I felt it for awhile now. Like a piece of me went dark. And it was even weirder because I guess I thought you were the one I could trust with it. Guess I made the right call.” Derek pulled back at these words and met Stiles’ gaze, a serious look in his blue eyes. 

“I feel a need to protect you. When I sensed how you felt when your dad got taken…”

“Hey, I did what I had to do to find him in time. Sure, taking a dip in a bath of ice isn’t my favorite pastime, but I did it. And in a sort of backwards way, it led here,” Stiles was quiet for a moment as he reached up and touched the scruff on Derek’s face, “Because you weren’t coming back, were you?”

“No. Maybe not ever.”

“So what happens now?”

“I don’t know. I don’t know what this is. I have a pretty shitty record when it comes to anything involving this sort of thing. I don’t know if I should stay here with you or spend the night on the couch.” At these words, Stiles pulled him a little closer, hands on Derek’s hips as their noses nearly brushed. 

“Don’t go. Not tonight, not after all this.” 

“Okay.” Was all Derek said as he moved aside and let Stiles curl up beside him, the werewolf moving one arm carefully around Stiles not to upset any of his wounds. He’d lost a lot of blood in the last few days. But he was safe now, and Derek knew that he wouldn’t let anything happen to him. It was a feeling neither was used to. 

\-----------

“No way. No. Freaking. Way.” Stiles awoke from a deep sleep at the sound of a familiar voice, and he instinctively moved closer to the warm presence at his back as he tried to focus his vision. He knew Derek woke up a second later when he jumped away from Stiles and stood up, facing who had spoke. When Stiles saw Scott standing there with an almost pleased grin on his lips, Stiles attempted to stand but the wounds and aches all over his body made that difficult. 

“I found Derek.” He said quickly and Scott looked at both of them with a small smirk.

“Looks like you did more than find him,” At these words, Derek let out a low growl and Scott backed up slightly, “Hey I don’t mean that in a bad way.”

“If you even breathe a word of this…” Derek said through gritted teeth but Stiles jumped in. 

“Who doesn’t fall victim to a little sleep cuddling every once in awhile, am I right buddy?” He said to Scott who still seemed a bit confused, “I got a little hurt and Derek was making sure I didn’t kick the bucket while in dreamland. And would you look at that I’m still here. Bang-up job.” He said to Derek as he held up two thumbs up and the werewolf looked at him in a somewhat grateful way.

“It really isn’t a big deal you guys. I’m honestly not that surprised,” One look from Derek made Scott decide to change topics entirely, despite him telling the complete truth. If anyone looked hard enough, they would’ve seen the signs too, “Did you know everyone’s looking for you dude? You’re dad isn’t very happy.”

“Yeah he usually isn’t a fan of me skipping town to hunt down werewolves.”

“You could’ve told me...or someone at least. Or answered your phone,” Derek watched the exchange between friends nonchalantly, arms crossed, “I followed your scent here but Derek’s masked it pretty well,” Scott gave them another curious look before speaking again, “But we have a problem. Deaton said that he thinks Jennifer’s spirit or something is still around. Like, he’s felt it…” At this, Stiles and Derek exchanged glances. 

“We got rid of her. Well, I think I got rid of her…” Stiles said as he filled Scott in as to what exactly had been happening to him the last few days, lifting his shirt to show the latest carving in his skin. 

“Why didn’t you say anything, dude? We could’ve figured this out!”

“I needed to go to Derek. I can’t explain why, but I just couldn’t. He was the one that needed to help me.” Stiles shrugged at the whole thing, though he knew Scott wasn’t too happy with that answer. 

“Well Deaton called me this morning and he didn’t mention talking to you at all. Actually he said he couldn’t remember much of yesterday. And…” Scott paused as if somewhat worried about what he was about to say, “He had a symbol carved into his leg.”

“No...no, no, no, no.” Stiles began to say and Derek looked as upset as Derek ever could look. 

“You spilled virgin blood on the nemeton.” He said softly as he thought back to all those years ago when he had done the same and inadvertently given Jennifer the power to live. This was exactly what she had wanted. 

“So does that mean she’s walking around somewhere looking for revenge?” Scott asked.

“She wanted to get back into her body again. That’s a start,” Derek said as he glanced over at Stiles who seemed almost dumbfounded by the entire thing. He wanted to reach out to him and tell him that it wasn’t his fault, but he didn’t move, “Calm down, okay?”

“Calm down? Calm down! I just resurrected the crazy woman who tried to sacrifice my dad, Scott’s mom, and almost murdered your sister. And you want me to be calm?” 

“It’s not your fault Stiles...she’s been manipulating you this whole time. And Derek too.” Scott said but the glare from Derek clearly proved he didn’t appreciate being added in.   
“Look. I won’t stand here and listen to you both go back and forth about this. I’m going to find her. And then I’m going to kill her...again.” Derek said in almost a growl as he spoke. Because he realized that he hadn’t been protecting Stiles. He’d been letting Jennifer dig deeper in, and that alone made him livid. 

“I’m coming with you.” Stiles forced himself to stand but hissed in pain as he leaned against the bed frame for support. 

“Here let me…” Scott started to move over, his hand out to heal Stiles, but he stopped when Derek let out a low, territorial growl that he didn’t even realize he was doing at first. Scott stepped back a few feet with his hands up, “He’s all yours.” Derek didn’t respond to that. Instead he walked over to Stiles, grabbed his upper arms, and met his gaze. 

“You’ll get yourself killed.” Derek said as he began to pull the pain out of Stiles, feeling it slide into him and he knew just how beat up he really was. More than he put on. Or maybe after healing Cora, he just didn’t have the strength he used to. But when Stiles gave a moan of relief, Derek’s eyes locked to his. 

“That feels so totally better…” He leaned somewhat closer to Derek who kept a firm hold on him. Stiles half wished Scott wasn’t here because he found himself wanting to completely melt into Derek’s arms but that seemed like a bit much for everyone right now, “And I’m definitely coming with you. You need my help.”

“She’ll want you there. You’re doing exactly what she’s expecting you’ll do.”

“I’m going. Take it or leave it.”

“You’re not leaving.”

“Yes I am, grumpy.”

“No.”

“Yes.”

“Ok can you two stop acting like you’re five years old?” Scott finally said as he turned to Derek, “He’ll come whether you want him to or not. It’s sort of a guarantee.” Stiles nodded in agreement and Derek’s eyes narrowed somewhat. 

“Fine. I’ll go with Stiles to where she was buried. You go gather who you can and see if Deaton can track her down.” Derek said and Scott agreed, even though he was the alpha now. The three of them left Derek’s loft but Scott hopped on his bike as Stiles and Derek went to get in the Camaro. 

“I’m not happy about this.” Derek said as he unlocked the doors. 

“You’re never happy about anything.” Stiles said with a slight smile and Derek just glared at him as they both got into the car. And Stiles didn’t bother making anymore remarks because he could see just how tense Derek was about all this. Tentatively he reached over and squeezed the werewolf’s shoulder reassuringly. But they remained in silence. 

\-----------

“Are you noticing anything specifically not weird here? Unless she teleported out of her grave, this seems pretty undisturbed.” Stiles said as they examined the patch of land where Jennifer was buried. The grass was still intact and nothing seemed out of place. Derek stepped closer and knelt down to press his hands to the dirt.

“That’s because she’s still under there.”

“Derek…” Stiles said in a low voice as the werewolf turned and saw a nervous look cross the boy’s face. He fell to one knee and Derek quickly went over to him, grabbing his arm.

“What’s going on?”

“I dunno…I just don’t feel so good…” Stiles muttered as his face went pale. It wasn’t like a nauseous feeling, it was something different altogether. It was the feeling of something bad creeping up within him. And he held onto Derek to try and keep himself level.

“Maybe it’s from losing all that blood.” Once again Derek tried to suck the pain out of Stiles but it was as if something blocked it.

“No….it’s not that…” Stiles started to shake and Derek looked at him perplexed as his grip on the werewolf tightened, his eyes squeezing shut as the sensation inside of him grew. After a moment, he was still and Derek thought that whatever it was passed. But then one of Stiles’ hands moved to Derek’s throat and began to squeeze. And when his eyes reopened and stared at Derek, they had gone completely black.

“Stiles…”

“Try again.” As the hand squeezed, Derek knew the answer. He knew it but he didn’t want to believe it.

“Jennifer.”

“Bingo, Derek. And thanks to Stiles here I was able to finally get the power I deserve. He spilled his blood at the nemeton. He gave me that last bit of strength I needed. And now, not even you will be able to stop me.” Stiles lifted Derek to his feet and threw him backwards hard onto the ground.

“Why are you doing this?” Derek asked as he got to his feet, claws at the ready.

“Isn’t it obvious? Revenge. It has always been to bring vengeance to everyone who has wronged me. And for you, Derek. I want you.”

“Get out of him then. You used his blood, there’s nothing more for you to gain from him!”

“That’s where you’re wrong. I’ve seen you two together…know how you feel. You would do anything to protect him and if this is the body you’ve chosen to love, then this is the body I’m going to stay in.”

“GET OUT OF HIM.” Derek roared as the wolf took over and his eyes blazed blue. A smirk spread across Stiles’ lips as he slowly walked forward.

“No,” Was all he said as Derek lunged at him, knocking him back to the ground as he let out a laugh, “Are you really prepared to hurt your lover?” That seemed to make Derek angrier and as he went to use his claws, Stiles grabbed his arm and held it back easily, the strength inside him tenfold what Derek’s was. And he threw the werewolf off him like nothing. Derek let out a roar as he ran back but Stiles’ fist collided into his chest and Derek flew backward in the air.

“You don’t need to fight me, Derek.” Stiles said as the werewolf stood his ground, trying to assess how exactly he was going to approach this. Stiles’ normal scent was almost gone, overtaken by something that burned Derek’s nose, but still he knew he couldn’t hurt him. He just couldn’t. Stiles dodged a few of Derek’s swings before landing a strong punch to the jaw which made Derek stagger back. But he was finally able to pin Stiles back to the ground.

“Derek…” Stiles said, his voice sounding panicked as his eyes suddenly went back to normal. Derek realized this and pulled back his wolf, grasping Stiles’ face between his hands, “I don’t know how long I can hold her back.”

“You need to fight her Stiles, you need to stay with me.”

“She’s strong…” Stiles let out a pained yell as he tried to regulate his breathing, feeling as if his insides were trying to rip in two, “But you can get her out of me. She was thinking about it.”

“How?”

“You need to kill me.” Stiles struggled out the words and Derek didn’t wait to respond.

“No.”

“That’s the only way. She has to jump into her body once she gets out of me and you’ll be able to kill her then.”

“I won’t kill you!”

“You won’t have a choice!” Stiles let out another pained groan as he grabbed onto Derek for support, “She’s banking on you not being able to hurt me.”  
“And I won’t hurt you. I can’t, not anymore.” Stiles reached for the back of Derek’s neck and pulled him in close.

“I know…but do this. Do this one thing for me, okay?” A tear ran down Stiles cheek as Derek pressed his forehead against his, eyes closing. He couldn’t do this, not again. But he feared there may be no other choice.

“Okay.” Was all Derek muttered back.

“Good,” Stiles said but he was scared, Derek could smell it on him and it killed him, “She’s forcing herself back in,” Stiles groaned out but Derek only hung on harder to him, “Just…just keep an eye on my dad, okay?”

“Okay.” Derek said again. But this time, Stiles touched his lips to Derek’s so lightly he barely felt it. But he wanted to know what it was like kissing Derek Hale for one last time. And he wished he had done it much sooner.

“And take care of yourself, Derek. Someone needs to.” Stiles smiled sadly at this last statement, but before Derek could respond, Stiles let out an agonized yell as his eyes rolled back and turned jet black again as he thrust Derek off of him.

“Lying again, Derek? And to poor Stiles who believed every word. Still, it really is sweet how much you care about him. Definitely more than you cared about me.”

“Stiles isn’t a monster.”

“And you aren’t?”

“I am a monster. But I could never be you.” And with that Derek lunged back at Stiles, claws tearing across his cheek as he swung with his other hand and broke Stiles’ nose. The boy let out a laugh as he wiped the blood from his torn lip. 

“I didn’t think you had it in you, Derek. But you were always good at causing other people pain.” Derek let out a roar in response as he attacked Stiles again, slamming a hand into his ribs as they cracked from the pressure. But Stiles was still impossibly strong as grabbed Derek’s arm and snapped it, causing the werewolf to growl in pain. 

Derek decided that his original idea of getting rid of the runes that Stiles had carved on himself seemed like suddenly a pretty good plan. Or at least, it was something. With newfound encouragement, Derek attacked again, tearing his claws into Stiles’ chest as the already marred flesh was ripped open again. This seemed to infuriate Stiles even more and he started to punch into Derek, staggering him back as he did. He could feel the blood begin spilling from his nose and he knew that he couldn’t let her win. He couldn’t let her have Stiles. Because Stiles was his. 

“I said…..GET OUT OF HIM!” Derek roared one last time as he dragged his claws deep across Stiles’ throat, enough to cause the blood to splatter out and leave him choking on his own slashed windpipe. And Derek knew this wasn’t an injury many could survive. He knew that this would kill Stiles, that this was the end. That all the empty threats suddenly became real. Derek watched in horror as he fell to his knees gasping. 

“Derek!” Scott’s voice came out of nowhere as he ran, face full of shock, to where Derek now stood. Stiles tried to stand but he fell to all fours instead, one hand grasping his throat as if trying to seal it up. 

“You…” Stiles barely choked out as Scott looked down at him.

“The power of the nemeton is gone,” Scott said triumphantly as Derek glanced over at him, “We burned it with mistletoe and sage. You can’t use it to heal.” Stiles’ black eyes looked up at Scott in shock as he seemed to try and heal himself more but without success. He started going pale, gagging and gasping until finally he fell completely to the ground. And it was this exact moment Derek rushed over, fell to his knees, and picked Stiles up in his arms. 

“Derek….I can’t hear his heart….” Scott said in a whisper and Derek tried to search for a pulse in Stiles but there was none. His wounds were fatal and it was something Derek knew he had done. But he couldn’t accept that, not yet. He struggled to pull his own shirt off and did the same to Stiles as he pressed him firmly against his chest, needing the skin to skin contact in order to heal him. He knew the danger of what he was about to do, but he had no other choice. He needed to protect Stiles. 

“She’s going to try and rise from her body. Don’t let that happen,” The pure rage in Derek’s voice was edged only by sadness and Scott didn’t wait for him to say anything else as he went over to the grave. Allison and Isaac appeared at the same time, carrying shovels after leaving the nemeton with Deaton. Both glanced over at Derek and Stiles but one quick word from Scott made them start digging, “C’mon Stilinski. Who’s gonna be a pain in my ass if you’re not around?”

Derek gripped him tighter, willing all the pain and injuries out of him, though it didn’t seem like enough. He let out an agonized growl as he felt the freshest wounds come into him. The broken ribs, the claw marks, even the carved rune. It all came into him so fast that he knew just how much pain Stiles was in. But it was the throat wound that made him feel like he was choking. 

“Come back, Stiles. Breathe, dammit! Do it!” He struggled out the words as he tried to force his breathing to be deep, to inspire Stiles to breathe like it did before. But his heart was still silent. Derek felt his throat tighten for a different reason as he pressed Stiles so tight to him it hurt. “Please…” Derek whispered, a word to no one else but the boy in his arms, and he used his last bit of strength to put everything into healing him. He let out a long, raspy yell again as he felt his own windpipe slash under pressure. Consciousness began to leave him but he refused to leave Stiles, he wouldn’t let him go. And as he fell backwards, the world went black. 

\----------

Derek woke up sore. Extremely sore. More than he ever could remember being. His eyelids were so stuck together he barely bothered to open them as he attempted to sit up, but a pair of hands gently forced him back down. 

“Easy there, big guy, you’re still tender,” When Derek heard the voice, his eyes shot open as he looked at the towering form of Stiles who held a wet washcloth in his hands, a slight smile on his lips as he gave a little wave, “What? You look like you’ve seen a ghost.” 

“Come here. Now.” Was all Derek said as he tried to meet Stiles halfway but growled in pain as the boy moved over to him and he barely sat down when Derek’s arms came up to pull him close, pressing his nose against his throat as he inhaled his scent. 

“Told you that you wanted a piece of Stiles pie.” Stiles muttered with a slight grin as Derek let out a low, almost pleased growl in his throat, hands coming around Stiles and he held onto Derek right back. 

“I killed you.” 

“No, you saved me. Emphasis on the saved. Because not only did you get Jennifer out of me, but you sort of brought me back to life. I’m kinda impressed.”

“Kinda?” Derek pulled back slightly to meet Stiles’ gaze and he was never happier to see the real color of his eyes, that they weren’t all black. 

“Okay, pretty impressed. Are you sure you’re not like, Jesus or something?” Derek merely rolled his eyes at this as he inhaled Stiles’ scent again.

“You smell like you now. No darkness left.” The look of relief that passed over Stiles’ face was obvious and he seemed to relax slightly as he moved to lay beside Derek, but he made sure to still keep physical contact. He felt like he needed it, like they both needed it, and he slowly let his hand lace with Derek’s. 

“I feel like myself again. Thanks to you. I knew you could do it, I just didn’t think I’d make it.”

“That was one of the worst things I’ve ever done. Your heart stopped...I thought that you were…” Derek turned his head away to focus on a different spot in the room but Stiles called him back. 

“Well I’m not. I’m here. And I don’t really plan on going anywhere.” 

“Good.”

“Does the same go for you?”

“I don’t know,” Derek looked back at Stiles and they were silent for a few moments, only looking into each other’s eyes, “Is she dead?’

“Deaton had Scott, Allison, and Isaac salt and burn her remains. Something about being the only thing that could stop her from pulling a real Night of the Living Dead. The smell was unreal.”

“So you woke up when I passed out?”

“Sort of. I was still pretty out of it, you know, being dead and all. But they had a hard time separating us. Even in near death you’re still a possessive, wolfy, bastard.” Stiles smiled slightly and Derek gave his hand a light squeeze. 

“How long was I out?”

“Four days. Probably the longest four days of my life even when Deaton assured me you’d be okay. Still it was hard...I thought you might not wake up.” 

“I’ve never healed a wound like that before. But I told you I would protect you.”

“You did more than that, dude. Check this out,” Stiles sat up and pulled up his shirt, revealing his chest that was completely healed. Derek’s eyes glowed blue and Stiles looked at him somewhat surprised, “Are you wolfing out on me right now?”

“It can happen if I get…” Derek looked suddenly somewhat flustered as his eyes changed back and Stiles felt his cheeks heat up as well. 

“Oh man...you’re the one who has it bad for me. And you picked on me for having all these feelings. But you’ve been a ball of feelings all along!”

“Do you want a sticker or something?” Stiles had a pleased grin on his lips as he took off his shirt entirely and tossed it aside. Derek looked at him with somewhat wide eyes, “What are you doing?”

“Exercising my right to bare my manly chest.” Stiles glanced down at his pale chest with a slight shrug as he moved back to Derek, placing a hand on the belt of his pants before very tentatively moving it lower. 

“Stiles…” 

“I’m sick of nasty druids, and everyone else for that matter, using this whole virgin thing against me. So let’s get this out of the way and never have to worry about it again, okay?” Stiles could feel his heart racing as he spoke and knew Derek could hear it. And he felt completely crazy for even suggesting this idea but out it came. And he felt like an idiot. 

“Don’t try and pretend you’re not freaking out,” Derek gently grabbed Stiles’ hand and moved it up so it rested on his chest instead, “You can’t lie to me.”

“So you don’t want to...you know…”

“If you even dare make a motion with your hands…”

“What I’m asking is...is there actually something here between us?” Derek was quiet for a few moments before figuring out exactly what to say. And he reached a hand up to rub Stiles’ cheek before he spoke. 

“As much as I wanted to deny it at first...yeah, there’s something here. And I’d like to try that with you, but not when I can barely sit up. Not to mention you’re only seventeen.”   
“Don’t pull the age card on me…”

“And maybe I’m not ready yet either.” Stiles hadn’t thought of that. He may be a virgin, but he doubted now that Derek had ever had feelings for a guy. And he felt slightly better they were going down this foreign road together. 

“We can do this slow. I think we need to do this slow.”

“You’re finally talking sense.”

“Shut up,” Stiles said with a slight smirk as he leaned close to Derek who met his lips halfway, a kiss that encompassed the relief that they had gotten through this all. Derek growled softly and Stiles thought it was for pain and went to pull back, but Derek didn’t let him. He kept their lips locked and Stiles knew in that moment that Derek was the one meant to save him. And he was meant to save Derek as well, “Sour wolf…” Stiles muttered. But he felt Derek smile against his lips and knew it was the first of many.

\-----------

“Wake up, sleepyhead.” Derek groaned as he heard Stiles’ voice call to him as he rolled over and threw an arm over the bare waist at his side, and the body moved closer to him. Stiles knew to move close to Derek, letting him press his nose against the boy’s throat as he uttered a low growl. Stiles had gotten good at deciphering Derek’s various growls. He liked to nuzzle into Stiles in the morning and growl as a sort of good morning. And then there were those growls he only ever did when they were alone. 

“You’re up early…” 

“Couldn’t stand the snoring.” Derek cracked open an eye and saw Stiles smiling at him. This had been happening alot lately. Stiles started staying over, Scott being the only one who knew anything about it, and Derek found himself suddenly living back at Beacon Hills. Stiles staying over also made Derek notice more things about him. Like how he double knotted his shoes, chewed on his bottom lip when he went on his computer, could never quite sit still, and had a love for peanut butter and banana sandwiches. Or whatever he could create in the kitchen.

“Is that coffee?” Derek said as he perked up and Stiles handed him a mug.

“Liquid pick-me-up, fresh out the pot.” 

“You don’t completely suck.” Derek muttered as he drank some of the coffee and Stiles sat up, pulled on his t-shirt, and brought a hand up to scratch his fingers into Derek’s hair. The werewolf’s eyes closed and he could barely focus on drinking his coffee. Because Stiles had learned things about Derek as well. Like that he took his coffee black with one cream, liked getting his scalp rubbed, read every night before he went to bed, and he never slept very well. Or he didn’t until Stiles showed up.

“I do try. Started making breakfast too. Some eggs, bacon…” Stiles hadn’t even finished and Derek had already gotten up. The werewolf could eat and Stiles sort of loved making him things. And Derek would at least try anything he could concoct. 

“Hear from Scott?” 

“He said he’s going to stop by with a full report of any creepy happenings last night. I’m hoping for killer elves. Are there even elves? Does that mean Santa really is a thing?” Stiles followed Derek into the kitchen and the werewolf made himself a plate, leaning against the counter to face Stiles. 

“We might want to get dressed.”

“You just don’t want Scott to see me in my boxers...because you’re all territorial over me,” Stiles had a smug sort of grin on his lips as he grabbed a piece of bacon, “Scott has seen me way more pantless then you, buddy.”

“I’ll need to work on that.” Derek said in a low voice, the sort of voice that he had started using and it made Stiles flush red every time. The sort of voice that made him pay attention. 

“I might let you.” Stiles heard Derek set the plate down before he saw it, and felt the warm hands against his hips as he turned around to face the werewolf. Their eyes met for a few moments then, blue and brown, before Derek leaned in to pressed his lips to Stiles’ throat. 

“You’re right...I am very territorial.” It explained a lot. Isaac had been giving Stiles strange looks for over a week and he realized that it was because he smelled like Derek. And he also realized just how much he liked that. 

“Well, maybe I am too,” Stiles replied as he leaned into Derek’s neck, letting out the best impression of a growl he could before biting down into Derek’s throat. The werewolf tensed for a moment and Stiles was about to pull back, “Did that cross a weird threshold?” But Derek’s grip on his waist tightened and he felt nails press into his skin. Derek let out one of those intimate growls and any worry slipped from Stiles as they pressed closer to each other. 

“Do it again.” The werewolf nearly demanded and Stiles fought the urge to utter some kind of wise-ass remark about Derek liking it rough. Because maybe that worked both ways. Stiles was about to sink his teeth into Derek again when Scott burst into the loft, instantly holding a hand over his eyes. 

“Dude! Waaaaay too early for me to be seeing this.” 

“There is such a thing as knocking,” Stiles said as he and Derek moved apart. Derek going over to continue eating as Stiles glanced down at himself and realized it was probably a good idea to go change, “I’m going to go find some pants.”

“You’re going to need them. You’re dad’s on his way here right now.” Scott called so Stiles could hear and Derek sort of looked on nonchalantly as always. Stiles tripped out of the bedroom as he pulled on his jeans, mouth agape with disbelief. 

“Why did you tell him I was here?”

“I didn’t tell him anything. You weren’t answering your phone so when he called my house looking for you, my mom had no idea you were supposed to be there. So he tracked your phone. I think I broke a few laws getting here before him.”

“You two actually tried to pull that 5th grade sleepover lie?” Derek asked as he put his plate down and crossed his arms. 

“It worked for awhile…” Stiles said before waving his hands, dismissing his statement as he looked at both werewolves somewhat freaked out, “Nevermind that! My dad is about to show up here and ask why I’ve been spending nights with all this.” He motioned at Derek who still remained unmoving.

“Hey dude, I was just letting you know. I need to get back over to Deaton’s. Call me later if your dad doesn’t ban you from all your technology.” 

“Don’t even joke about that!” Stiles said back as Scott took off again, leaving Stiles standing there in somewhat of a panic. His dad had always been pretty reasonable, but the last months had been hard on him, especially now he knew the truth. And Stiles hadn’t been the world’s greatest son after he just skipped town without telling anyone. Luckily Derek had taken on most of his wounds from Jennifer so that hadn’t been an issue. But lying to his dad was. 

“He just pulled up.” Derek stated as he looked over at Stiles and decided that now was a good time for him to find a shirt, especially if he would need to talk to Sheriff Stilinski. It might soften the blow a bit if he was fully clothed. 

“I don’t know if I love or hate your wolf hearing.” Stiles took a few deep breaths and Derek stepped up to place a hand on his shoulder, squeezing comfortingly. 

“Calm down, okay?”

“Easy for you to say. What exactly am I supposed to tell my dad? ‘Oh, hi dad. Yeah I’ve been sleeping over at a werewolf’s house who you arrested that one time.’ Yep, that sounds great.” Derek’s other hand came up to grab Stiles’ jaw to make sure they locked eyes. 

“Just tell him the truth. He’ll understand.”

“And what exactly do I say?” A silence lingered between them for a moment, but Derek knew what he needed to say, what he had to say, and he let it slip casually off his tongue.   
“Tell him I’m your boyfriend.”

“Did...did you just use the ‘b’ word?”

“Don’t make me say it again.” Derek tried to look almost intimidating, but a smile cracked his composure just by looking at the look on Stiles face. Because he hadn’t expected Derek to suddenly accept this, what they had become, but he had. They would maybe always be subtle, but now it wasn’t just him that felt okay with other people knowing, it was Derek too. 

“You don’t completely suck either.” Stiles muttered back mere moments before he pressed his lips to Derek’s, moving into him for a moment so the werewolf would know just how much this meant to him. And Derek kissed him back with just as much gratefulness. 

“He’s almost here…” Derek mumbled in the kiss and they both pulled back but their arms remained around each other, “I’m going to need a shirt.”

“Remember your pants comment? Well same goes for you wearing a shirt.”

“Stiles!” Sheriff Stilinski’s voice came through the door as he banged on it. They both glanced over at it and Stiles took a deep breath, Derek gave his shoulder one last squeeze. 

“I’ll be right behind you.”

“I know.” They met eyes for one last time before Derek went to grab a shirt and Stiles slowly walked over to the door, only daring to open it when he felt the protective presence appear behind him. And he knew that it would be there whenever he needed it. Feeling that safety, Stiles turned the knob, and Derek gave him a light touch between the shoulder blades as they prepared to tell Sheriff Stilinski everything. Except now, they were doing it together.


End file.
